the Realization of Jesus Christ
alright, this blog i wrote around 10pm, saturday night, july 21st. but my stupid internet's been messed up since then. so i just posted it today.
How long have I been writing in journals? How many journals do I have stashed away in my bookshelves? Dozens, I’m sure. Sighs… I watched the original Disney movie thingy called Read it and Weep. Jamie’s private journal was accidentally printed in the newspaper, and turned into a bestseller. She became popular, got the guy of her dreams, and lost all her friends. Typical story, I’ve concluded. lol It makes me wonder. If one of MY private journals turned into a best seller… I think I would die. And yet I have this love for writing, and what am I doing with it? How is it blessing people? lol Lizzie certainly enjoys feeling like she’s in New York traffic as she reads this silly blog.
In the Disney movie, her best guy friend, Conner, is secretly head over heals for her, plans to ask her to the dance, but is beat by the most popular guy in school, Jamie’s secret crush. This amazing guy loses his true love because she’s distracted by a guy whose IQ is the size of a raisin. I used to imagine the Conners to be “that guy” that’s waiting out there somewhere for me… when I’ve come to find out that He really has been. Oswald Chambers’ devotional today said, “A saint is not to take initiative toward self-realization, but towards knowing Christ… The Holy Spirit is determined that we will have the realization of Jesus Christ in every area of our lives, and He will bring us back to the same point over and over again until we do.” It used to irritate me the way writers and speakers and singers would go on and on about knowing Christ. I felt as if I were past that level. “Yea, yea, yea, know Jesus. Got it. Now, let’s go on to the good stuff, like prophecies and parables, and knowing your inner self!” lol…I still like that stuff. But… during the past couple weeks… while taking it kind of slow, after a majorly busy summer… God’s just been reiterating in my heart that level of intimacy He loves the best… and that’s Jesus-recognition… God-realization. Man.. I don’t even know what that is anymore…
To really know His heart… to be so in tuned with His voice, that even the faintest breath from His lips catches your full attention… AH! How many of us are really that intense?! He’s been stirring this inside me… and now I feel as if I’m about to explode! How could I have lived this long without having this type of joy He’s creating in me?!
I’ve come to the krazi-est discovery! You know how Solomon was going all over to find “true contentment” and all he configured was “everything is vanity!” I mean, things that I really do enjoy, like nature and education, he discovered was all vanity?! What nonsense! But… as I studied it in my Bible lessons for school this spring… I realized that Solomon was trying to find happiness in these things… without God. He tried to enjoy sex and wealth and knowledge and companionship… things God CREATED for us to enjoy… but things Solomon tried to “make a god out of”… and I look around at what just takes my breath away, like the outstretched painted mountains in my front yard, the smell of tomato vine, the sound of the wind… and I just sit there and I say… “oh my God… my God, thank you for that.” lol…. falling in love with the Giver, rather than the gift. And here He is, bringing me back to the basics of it all… discovering and realizing Jesus. I want to scream! Because when I really let this passion boil inside me… when I set all the distractions aside… I almost see such a clear view of Him… and He’s not just a face… He’s a whole world! Here in one corner of His heart are aisles and aisles of stories of lives He’s just dying for me to read. And over here, I see this insane beauty in the butterfly He lets fly around near His shoulder. And did you see that glimpse of the eagle spirit?! Under the shadow of His wings… can you IMAGINE where He and I could fly if I would find my rest there? Such dreams and such beauty waiting to be discovered! The vision is clear…
That’s it. I’ve made up my mind. I’m talking like a madman! Don’t you see it though? It’s slowly becoming so crystal clear to me... these passions He’s placed in my heart… these words that are at the tip of my tongue… these dreams He’s dying to make true… AH! I feel as If I were a princess warrior about to declare her battle cry.
“TONIGHT… is OUR NIGHT! Tonight… in midst of thunder and rain… in midst of fear and disadvantage… WE FIGHT! Not for a cause. Not for a country. But for a love… such love that will fuel us in our weakest hour. We stand, knit together in love, fighting side by side… together we can conquer this world of hatred! We can make the difference! We can mend distortion! Build walls! Become one! Fight, fellow warriors! FOR LOVE! FOR GOD! AND FOR EACH OTHER!”
Lol not very militaristic… but very sincere.
How long have I been writing in journals? How many journals do I have stashed away in my bookshelves? Dozens, I’m sure. Sighs… I watched the original Disney movie thingy called Read it and Weep. Jamie’s private journal was accidentally printed in the newspaper, and turned into a bestseller. She became popular, got the guy of her dreams, and lost all her friends. Typical story, I’ve concluded. lol It makes me wonder. If one of MY private journals turned into a best seller… I think I would die. And yet I have this love for writing, and what am I doing with it? How is it blessing people? lol Lizzie certainly enjoys feeling like she’s in New York traffic as she reads this silly blog.
In the Disney movie, her best guy friend, Conner, is secretly head over heals for her, plans to ask her to the dance, but is beat by the most popular guy in school, Jamie’s secret crush. This amazing guy loses his true love because she’s distracted by a guy whose IQ is the size of a raisin. I used to imagine the Conners to be “that guy” that’s waiting out there somewhere for me… when I’ve come to find out that He really has been. Oswald Chambers’ devotional today said, “A saint is not to take initiative toward self-realization, but towards knowing Christ… The Holy Spirit is determined that we will have the realization of Jesus Christ in every area of our lives, and He will bring us back to the same point over and over again until we do.” It used to irritate me the way writers and speakers and singers would go on and on about knowing Christ. I felt as if I were past that level. “Yea, yea, yea, know Jesus. Got it. Now, let’s go on to the good stuff, like prophecies and parables, and knowing your inner self!” lol…I still like that stuff. But… during the past couple weeks… while taking it kind of slow, after a majorly busy summer… God’s just been reiterating in my heart that level of intimacy He loves the best… and that’s Jesus-recognition… God-realization. Man.. I don’t even know what that is anymore…
To really know His heart… to be so in tuned with His voice, that even the faintest breath from His lips catches your full attention… AH! How many of us are really that intense?! He’s been stirring this inside me… and now I feel as if I’m about to explode! How could I have lived this long without having this type of joy He’s creating in me?!
I’ve come to the krazi-est discovery! You know how Solomon was going all over to find “true contentment” and all he configured was “everything is vanity!” I mean, things that I really do enjoy, like nature and education, he discovered was all vanity?! What nonsense! But… as I studied it in my Bible lessons for school this spring… I realized that Solomon was trying to find happiness in these things… without God. He tried to enjoy sex and wealth and knowledge and companionship… things God CREATED for us to enjoy… but things Solomon tried to “make a god out of”… and I look around at what just takes my breath away, like the outstretched painted mountains in my front yard, the smell of tomato vine, the sound of the wind… and I just sit there and I say… “oh my God… my God, thank you for that.” lol…. falling in love with the Giver, rather than the gift. And here He is, bringing me back to the basics of it all… discovering and realizing Jesus. I want to scream! Because when I really let this passion boil inside me… when I set all the distractions aside… I almost see such a clear view of Him… and He’s not just a face… He’s a whole world! Here in one corner of His heart are aisles and aisles of stories of lives He’s just dying for me to read. And over here, I see this insane beauty in the butterfly He lets fly around near His shoulder. And did you see that glimpse of the eagle spirit?! Under the shadow of His wings… can you IMAGINE where He and I could fly if I would find my rest there? Such dreams and such beauty waiting to be discovered! The vision is clear…
That’s it. I’ve made up my mind. I’m talking like a madman! Don’t you see it though? It’s slowly becoming so crystal clear to me... these passions He’s placed in my heart… these words that are at the tip of my tongue… these dreams He’s dying to make true… AH! I feel as If I were a princess warrior about to declare her battle cry.
“TONIGHT… is OUR NIGHT! Tonight… in midst of thunder and rain… in midst of fear and disadvantage… WE FIGHT! Not for a cause. Not for a country. But for a love… such love that will fuel us in our weakest hour. We stand, knit together in love, fighting side by side… together we can conquer this world of hatred! We can make the difference! We can mend distortion! Build walls! Become one! Fight, fellow warriors! FOR LOVE! FOR GOD! AND FOR EACH OTHER!”
Lol not very militaristic… but very sincere.
posted by LiAnne at 5:35 PM
1 Comments:
lol! lizzie that's probably the kraziest sweet thing you've ever said to me. i never never knew you wanted to be a writer!! i do too, so you and me should hook up one time and talk about our dreams lol. i'm sorry though too, cuz dad says i DO write too much to stay too little, which i'm trying to improve on. i've discovered that one page is just a beautiful as five ;). yea i loved your analogy on NY traffic tho, you've got good stuff up in that krazy head of yours. too bad its stuck in an eighth-grader. but i really would like to see what you've got planned with that writing love of yours. like the beginning of this one blog said, what are we doing with this gift, huh, lizzie?
love you girl.
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