Skinny Dipping anyone?
Yes... It's past due to write again. and hey, I'm on a role, I didnt have to be told to write in my blog again! But this time, I'm typing with long, beautiful acrylic french manicured nails, only $25 at Unique Nails lol. It's quite frustrating, but quite beautiful as well.
Life has treated me well. no. life has treated me like crap. lol. But God has treated me well. man... just the sound of that Name...
let's catch up... lemme see... Summer Camp... uh-MAZING!! It scares me how much I speak life and death into my destiny. who KNOWS what would have happened if I hadn't said that I'd probably be the center of the teenage romance drama at this year's camp. might have not happened! lol. But aside from that, and in spite of that... I was also very much a part of God's complete freak-me-out individual make-over story. man... I can hear the amazing sound of the flamingo chimes Mara got me for my birthday. I turned 17 at camp... awesome. I got money, jewelry, and two songs written inspired by me lol. oh, and also a surprise birthday party, which was way kool. It was amazing to be able to be on the beach the day I turned 17. It was also one of very many nights God clutched my heart. and my heart still hurts...
You do not know how difficult it is being seventeen... I hate it! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. It's the most frustrating, adventurous, amazing, scary thing anyone could ever experience. I mean, discovering things inside of you that like 50 million people warn you about when you're at the brink of adulthood, feelings of independence and even a little rebellion sometimes. My away message on IM is "can a homeschooler have senior-itis?" Every senior seems to want to CONQUER THE WORLD! And that is sooooooooo on the top of my list of goals to reach lol. speaking of which, I've started making my "One Hundred Senior Year Goals List"... I've made 54 since last night. stupid things like pee in a lake and eat a cat, strange things like getting a second earring hole and having dreadlocks for a month, obvious things like graduating from highschool (duh) and getting a class ring, and serious things like going on my first missions trip and witnessing to 100 people. man. one hundred must be the number this year. 100 letters to write. 100 dollars to take a back-to-school girl shopping next fall. 100 people to lead to Christ. It's been so weird making this list, guys... God's so rocking my world, starting with this list. last night, I got into an intense "discussion" about certain strange goals I want to accomplish that he considers... "outrageous"...says I'd be doing them for the wrong reasons. I got off the computer, fuming with anger, finding myself say "i'll do it. i'll do it just to prove to him that i did!" and then I was like "oh yea, then I'll DEFINITELY be doing it for wrong reasons..." wearing anklets, having haltar tops, getting a tattoo... going to college, getting married... eating MEAT for goodness sakes! I'm not saying I want to get a tattoo that'll scar me forever lol. I'm just saying... finding the right reasons to do certain things... not because my parents want me to, not because i wanna please someone, not just to prove to someone... not to do it to be rebellious... it's baffled me and my complicated mind. why did I get my nails professionally done?... I didnt do it because God said so... I did it because I wanted to... for me. is that wrong? boy, do I sound like a teenager.
Romans talks a lot about doing things with conviction. like eating meat. Jews did not eat certain meat, like pork, because of the Mosaic Law and the Old Testament Covenant. But Gentiles in the New Testament discovered that they were released from the "old code" (7:6). But Jewish Christians still were too "weak in their faith" (14:1) to do certain things God had given every Christian liberty to do. Romans 14:5- "one person esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind." and verse 23 writes "But he who doubts is condemned if he eats [meat], because he does not eat from faith: for whatever is not from faith is sin." This portion of Scripture frustrated me for years, because it talked a lot about the gray areas of life. Things the Bible did not give word-for-word exact instruction about… things highly educated scholars discuss and argue over… things every single one of us has to end up deciding on our own on whether or not to do… like eating meat.
The Bible says to not murder. The Bible says to speak the truth in love. The Bible says to “praise Him with… instruments” Psalms 150:4 (surprising I know!). But the Bible doesn’t say whether or not one should skinny dip, now does it? That’s where Romans 14 comes in… it’s finding your own conviction concerning weird things like this. You could back it up with scripture by saying that God calls us to be modest, and you can definitely say that you are not to let your brother stumble by being NAKED (so I suggest dipping by yourself). But it also says that Adam and Eve were born naked, and that David danced with indignity and NAKED. You purpose in your heart, and convict it with your decisions. And then you back up your conviction… with Scripture. It’s so confusing… and it angers me even now because people use this portion to justify sins they’ve committed. And it hurts that they have such an isolated point of view concerning Scripture portion (lol so got that line from Kari Romero.) So when it comes to yourself… your convictions… your decisions about life… your formed morals… (boy am I preaching to myself right now)…. Prayer would do a lotta help…
That’s one thing I’ve had such a hard time about this summer. Making decisions with conviction. If I ever went skinny dipping, I don’t want to do it doubting whether or not God approves, cuz then I’d DEFINITELY be doing it in sin (reiterate Romans 14:23) I’ve always been a very skilled people pleaser… I wear black because Josh likes me in black, I put pig tails in my hair because Dad loves pigtails… I raise my hands in worship because the worship leader raises his hands. I’m not saying you can’t bless people by making your mom a cake, or wearing your boyfriend’s favorite shirt. But… I hate wearing black! lol. And whenever I did it, I had him in mind. I curled my hair at the Sunset Dinner because Josh likes curly hair. I wore flats because if I didn’t, Josh would be shorter than me lol. But then there was my outfit… my gorgeous, OUTRAGEOUS, unique outfit… I was so scared to wear the cowboy hat and the twirly knitted skirt and the maternity looking top, afraid that people wouldn’t like it. (and yea, people did comment on the cowboy hat lol). But Lindsey and Rochelle prodded me. “LiAnne… do you like this outfit?” I was like “I LOVE IT!” They yelled, “Then get it!” I loved that outfit… it was so hot and so weird. And I got it for me. When’s the last time I’ve done that?
I’m finding out who I am, what I believe, and why I believe it. Krystal, a pretty amazing college girl Brooklyn brought up last weekend, talked about this with me. She was like, “There just comes a time when you’re gonna have to find your own beliefs… your own morals. Figuring out why you believe what you believe is a part of growing up… even if you come to the same conclusion you had before you started lol.” I wanna believe what I believe not because my parents believe it. But because God put that conviction in my heart and I have Scripture and knowledge (well… at least wisdom) to back up my beliefs. Man… am I explaining this without sounding like a rebellious retard?
I think that… I AM partially going through a rebellious state… and part of all of today’s documentation is just trying to get it all out on the table and sorting it through… I’m so scared that I’ll blow up and do a 180 on my whole outlook and belief in life. Lol some people have warned me that “because I’m too shelthered” I will explode when I turn 18 and turn away from everything that was ever taught me. And that is a very big possibility… if the teachings impressed into my heart were written in pencil. I want them to be written in stone… really engraved deeply into my life with a Pen only God can employ. I want Him to press into my life His written out how-to-live-LiAnne’s-life plan… which is gonna be pretty scary.
Hmm… maybe that should be on my list of 100 things to accomplish before college.
lianne will write more in due time. This is only one of many waves that have rocked my boat this summer.
LiAnne
Life has treated me well. no. life has treated me like crap. lol. But God has treated me well. man... just the sound of that Name...
let's catch up... lemme see... Summer Camp... uh-MAZING!! It scares me how much I speak life and death into my destiny. who KNOWS what would have happened if I hadn't said that I'd probably be the center of the teenage romance drama at this year's camp. might have not happened! lol. But aside from that, and in spite of that... I was also very much a part of God's complete freak-me-out individual make-over story. man... I can hear the amazing sound of the flamingo chimes Mara got me for my birthday. I turned 17 at camp... awesome. I got money, jewelry, and two songs written inspired by me lol. oh, and also a surprise birthday party, which was way kool. It was amazing to be able to be on the beach the day I turned 17. It was also one of very many nights God clutched my heart. and my heart still hurts...
You do not know how difficult it is being seventeen... I hate it! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. It's the most frustrating, adventurous, amazing, scary thing anyone could ever experience. I mean, discovering things inside of you that like 50 million people warn you about when you're at the brink of adulthood, feelings of independence and even a little rebellion sometimes. My away message on IM is "can a homeschooler have senior-itis?" Every senior seems to want to CONQUER THE WORLD! And that is sooooooooo on the top of my list of goals to reach lol. speaking of which, I've started making my "One Hundred Senior Year Goals List"... I've made 54 since last night. stupid things like pee in a lake and eat a cat, strange things like getting a second earring hole and having dreadlocks for a month, obvious things like graduating from highschool (duh) and getting a class ring, and serious things like going on my first missions trip and witnessing to 100 people. man. one hundred must be the number this year. 100 letters to write. 100 dollars to take a back-to-school girl shopping next fall. 100 people to lead to Christ. It's been so weird making this list, guys... God's so rocking my world, starting with this list. last night, I got into an intense "discussion" about certain strange goals I want to accomplish that he considers... "outrageous"...says I'd be doing them for the wrong reasons. I got off the computer, fuming with anger, finding myself say "i'll do it. i'll do it just to prove to him that i did!" and then I was like "oh yea, then I'll DEFINITELY be doing it for wrong reasons..." wearing anklets, having haltar tops, getting a tattoo... going to college, getting married... eating MEAT for goodness sakes! I'm not saying I want to get a tattoo that'll scar me forever lol. I'm just saying... finding the right reasons to do certain things... not because my parents want me to, not because i wanna please someone, not just to prove to someone... not to do it to be rebellious... it's baffled me and my complicated mind. why did I get my nails professionally done?... I didnt do it because God said so... I did it because I wanted to... for me. is that wrong? boy, do I sound like a teenager.
Romans talks a lot about doing things with conviction. like eating meat. Jews did not eat certain meat, like pork, because of the Mosaic Law and the Old Testament Covenant. But Gentiles in the New Testament discovered that they were released from the "old code" (7:6). But Jewish Christians still were too "weak in their faith" (14:1) to do certain things God had given every Christian liberty to do. Romans 14:5- "one person esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind." and verse 23 writes "But he who doubts is condemned if he eats [meat], because he does not eat from faith: for whatever is not from faith is sin." This portion of Scripture frustrated me for years, because it talked a lot about the gray areas of life. Things the Bible did not give word-for-word exact instruction about… things highly educated scholars discuss and argue over… things every single one of us has to end up deciding on our own on whether or not to do… like eating meat.
The Bible says to not murder. The Bible says to speak the truth in love. The Bible says to “praise Him with… instruments” Psalms 150:4 (surprising I know!). But the Bible doesn’t say whether or not one should skinny dip, now does it? That’s where Romans 14 comes in… it’s finding your own conviction concerning weird things like this. You could back it up with scripture by saying that God calls us to be modest, and you can definitely say that you are not to let your brother stumble by being NAKED (so I suggest dipping by yourself). But it also says that Adam and Eve were born naked, and that David danced with indignity and NAKED. You purpose in your heart, and convict it with your decisions. And then you back up your conviction… with Scripture. It’s so confusing… and it angers me even now because people use this portion to justify sins they’ve committed. And it hurts that they have such an isolated point of view concerning Scripture portion (lol so got that line from Kari Romero.) So when it comes to yourself… your convictions… your decisions about life… your formed morals… (boy am I preaching to myself right now)…. Prayer would do a lotta help…
That’s one thing I’ve had such a hard time about this summer. Making decisions with conviction. If I ever went skinny dipping, I don’t want to do it doubting whether or not God approves, cuz then I’d DEFINITELY be doing it in sin (reiterate Romans 14:23) I’ve always been a very skilled people pleaser… I wear black because Josh likes me in black, I put pig tails in my hair because Dad loves pigtails… I raise my hands in worship because the worship leader raises his hands. I’m not saying you can’t bless people by making your mom a cake, or wearing your boyfriend’s favorite shirt. But… I hate wearing black! lol. And whenever I did it, I had him in mind. I curled my hair at the Sunset Dinner because Josh likes curly hair. I wore flats because if I didn’t, Josh would be shorter than me lol. But then there was my outfit… my gorgeous, OUTRAGEOUS, unique outfit… I was so scared to wear the cowboy hat and the twirly knitted skirt and the maternity looking top, afraid that people wouldn’t like it. (and yea, people did comment on the cowboy hat lol). But Lindsey and Rochelle prodded me. “LiAnne… do you like this outfit?” I was like “I LOVE IT!” They yelled, “Then get it!” I loved that outfit… it was so hot and so weird. And I got it for me. When’s the last time I’ve done that?
I’m finding out who I am, what I believe, and why I believe it. Krystal, a pretty amazing college girl Brooklyn brought up last weekend, talked about this with me. She was like, “There just comes a time when you’re gonna have to find your own beliefs… your own morals. Figuring out why you believe what you believe is a part of growing up… even if you come to the same conclusion you had before you started lol.” I wanna believe what I believe not because my parents believe it. But because God put that conviction in my heart and I have Scripture and knowledge (well… at least wisdom) to back up my beliefs. Man… am I explaining this without sounding like a rebellious retard?
I think that… I AM partially going through a rebellious state… and part of all of today’s documentation is just trying to get it all out on the table and sorting it through… I’m so scared that I’ll blow up and do a 180 on my whole outlook and belief in life. Lol some people have warned me that “because I’m too shelthered” I will explode when I turn 18 and turn away from everything that was ever taught me. And that is a very big possibility… if the teachings impressed into my heart were written in pencil. I want them to be written in stone… really engraved deeply into my life with a Pen only God can employ. I want Him to press into my life His written out how-to-live-LiAnne’s-life plan… which is gonna be pretty scary.
Hmm… maybe that should be on my list of 100 things to accomplish before college.
lianne will write more in due time. This is only one of many waves that have rocked my boat this summer.
LiAnne
posted by LiAnne at 5:43 PM
1 Comments:
yea i was thinking also about Churches of Christ, how they dont use instruments either and i'm all "hey, it's right here, IN DA BIBLE." and how Kari Romero said that some of the scripture portions were used just for that time, and then others as a continual action. i do believe that scripture was for continual use. CONTINUE TO PRAISE GOD WITH YOUR GIFTS! even your musical ones...
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